Tuesday, August 25, 2015

LabKitty for President!

Now that the floodgates have been opened and every lunatic with a hankering for the launch codes is throwing his/her hat into the Oval Office ring, it's time for LabKitty to officially add my bonnet (which is ridiculous of course -- cats don't wear hats, they drive sports cars!).

Admittedly, I don't have any experience at politics or running the country or real life in general, although I once read one of those Dummy's books on the Constitution (fun quiz: guess how many delegates weren't wearing pants when they signed it). However, I bet I know more about the serotonin 5HT-6 receptor than almost any of the other candidates, and it would be nice to get a little mileage out of that tidbit seeing how much time, effort, and NRSA money went into it. But I promise this: I will never lie to you, except when it's expedient.



I have only one plank in my platform, if that is the correct metaphor (or is it an aphorism? I never can keep those straight). To wit: If elected, I will pass a constitutional amendment that guarantees a minimum NIH payline of 50%. After my peeps get paid, yinzall can do whatever the hell it is you want with the rest of the money. I'm willing to do a 50% payline for the NSF too, but I don't want you to think I'm buying votes. Also NASA, if someone can explain how their extramural funding is structured.

That's the only official goal of a LabKitty administration, although I could probably be talked into adding Pizza Day as a national holiday. Oh, and if your car alarm goes off and you car isn't being stolen, you have to pay everyone $40.

PayPal campaign contributions to labkittydesign@gmail.com.

Note added in proof: Oh, I also have this boss campaign poster:

LabKitty campaign poster

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